Whistling in the Dark

Found years ago:

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire,
Jackals ripping at your nose,
You’ll tell Carol “You’re a skunk and a liar,
And you smell like old camel toes.”

Everybody knows some jerk-off under mistletoe
Will help to make the party blight.
Tiny sots with their red eyes aglow
Will find the pavement hard tonight.

They know that Santa’s been delayed
He’s overloaded, overworked, and underpaid,
And every home boy is gonna try
To pot a reindeer with his piece as they fly by.

And so I’m offering this special deal:
“Buy now! Just $19.92!”
You know you’ve been had, many times, many ways,
Merry merchants screw you.

I just set up my beloved with a WordPress install on my server (I’ll add a link when she decides to announce it) and it’s made me miss posting.

The problem is my life is pretty boring. I work, talk to my darling, and sleep. Thanks to my work schedule I don’t even have time to go out and play with my camera. In addition, writing doesn’t come naturally or easy for me. Even if I have something to say it takes me so long to beat it into something readable that I no longer care about it.

That being said I still miss it. Even though practically no one reads this (and I don’t blame them) it was nice to have a place to just post my thoughts. I have twitter and facebook but neither lend themselves to posting more than a sound bite. I’m not going to promise that I’m going to post more but I’m going to try, even if they’re short posts or barely coherent ramblings. At least it’s an outlet. One thing that will help is I found a pretty good WordPress client for my new phone (the phone will get its own post eventually) so I can compose a post no matter where I am.

It seems I am always starting posts by apologizing for not posting more so I’ll just skip it this time, okay?

The beginning of this year was my normal boring work-sleep-work cycle with occasional nice breaks of hanging out with some friends from work. That all changed three weeks ago when I finally got the guts to admit my feelings towards a special someone. Admit them to her and myself.

She was the unexpected. I wasn’t looking for love. In fact I had given up on it. She has pulled me out of my funk and shown me that life is beautiful and just existing is no way to go through life.

Melissa, thank you. Thank you for showing me that. Thank you for enlightening my life. And, most of all, thank you for loving me.

I have to go to a family funeral tomorrow. As always happens when I have to go to a funeral my thoughts turn to my own mortality. Now, I should say right up front I’m not planning to check out any time soon and when I do I doubt I’ll go quietly into that good night. I just wanted to share my thoughts about what I’d like done when I’m gone.

Death in our culture is always a solemn affair where everyone dresses in stuffy clothes and speaks in hushed tones. The family pays way too much money for embalming, a casket, funeral parlor, hearse, and all the other trappings “needed” to give honor to the dead.

Me, I don’t want all that.

My wishes are simple. When I’m gone I want my body given back to the earth as simply as possible. Stick my unpreserved shell in a hole without casket and plant a tree over me. Preferably an ash but an oak or native maple would do. As for a ceremony, something simple at the grave site if you must (No Judeo-Christian clergy please) then a party. Yes, I said a party. I want singing, dancing, and laughing. I want those that I loved in life to enjoy themselves. Of course they’ll be sadness but I won’t be in any pain and I’ll have a chance to see what happens next. So try to be happy. Have a drink, have fun, and remember that that last thing I’d want is for y’all to mope on my account.

A couple of days ago Christian Martick released a new version of his wonderful Mac Jaiku client Juhu. There was a small problem though; he compiled it as an Intel only app. It was a mistake and he plans on recompiling and rereleasing it but until then me, and anyone else with a PPC Mac was out of luck.

Thankfully Christian has licensed Juhu under the MIT license and released the source code so I was able to recompile it as a universal binary. If you’re running an Intel Mac then just use the official version. If you’re on a PPC mac you can either wait for Christian to get a chance to fix the official version or download my build here. I changed absolutely nothing other than the build options. Please don’t ask me to fix anything as I’m not a programmer, just a bored geek who can fumble his way around xcode. Also, if there are bugs in this build please don’t bug Christian about them because this isn’t his offical build.

Update: Christian has released 0.9.9 which fixes the PPC bug as well as a Growl bug.

Life has been nothing but work but that’s okay for now. Most of my co-workers are cool and I don’t work directly with those that aren’t. Customers can be a real headache but that’s normal for retail.

This week I have three days of off-site training. It’s nice to be off my feet even if it was boring and the commute on Mon and Tues was a bit of a bitch.

I had wanted to start posting more but my life has gotten even more boring than usual so I haven’t had anything to report. I haven’t even been shooting, though I’m planning on going out this afternoon to see if I can find anything.

Life is still in flux but I’m okay with it. I spent the last two days in orientation for my new job. It was mainly boring (as anyone who’s had to sit through any orientation can attest) but the company seems like a good one to work for and everyone is friendly. I go in again Thursday for training. At this point I can’t wait to actually get to the meat of the job and actually start working.

The first thing I need to do is save up for a new (to me) car. I love Lilith but she’s not super reliable and it would cost far too much to get her back into tip-top shape.

I really need to post more often. Sorry.

I start work full time on Monday. It’s swing-shift retail but the pay’s pretty good and the people seem nice.

The following is a short descriptive paper I had to do for English Comp I a few years ago. I remembered it because I’ve been pining to see the RHPS lately.

Read the rest of this entry »

A lot of people told me that after a long term relationship breaks up that you’ll have good days, where you’re feeling pretty good, and bad days, where life just fucking sucks. Me, I’m having good hours and bad hours. I imagine this is like what someone who’s badly bipolar goes through. If so then I really feel bad for them. I know this will fade for me with time. They have to live with this their whole life.