Whistling in the Dark

My darling and I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. The distance has not been easy, in fact it has been very difficult, but we will be together soon. Over this year I’ve learned a few things about making a long distance relationships work. Many of these things are very important in normal relationships but become paramount when dealing with being apart most of the time.

• Communication: If you and your partner can not or will not communicate you are doomed from the start. It’s hard enough to deal with a lack of communication in a face to face relationship but it will destroy a long distance one. Do not keep things bottled up. Don’t assume your partner just knows what you want or what you are thinking. We live in a world where technology makes communication easier. Don’t discount email, txt, Skype, etc. They are all ways to talk to the one you love.
• Honesty and trust: You must be able to trust your partner and they you. That means no lies, no misdirection. The truth, no matter how hard to say or painful to hear, is better than a lie, which will come out and will hurt worse in the end.
• Never go to bed mad: Fights, while they suck, can and will happen. Resolve them. Do not let the anger and frustration brew. The last thing your love should hear from your lips before going to bed is that you love them.
• Say “I love you”: If you can mean it (and if not why the hell call it a “relationship”) tell the other person that you love them. There are times when the distance seems like too much but a simple heartfelt “I love you” over the phone or txt from your partner can make it seem doable.
• Pictures: Not being able to see the person you love is painful. Emailing or MMSing pictures to each other can take some of that sting away. I know that no matter how crappy my day has been a picture of my beautiful lady’s smiling face makes it better.
• Do “normal” things together, no matter how weird it seems: Go shopping together on Amazon.com, or both of you get take out and have dinner together on the phone. I know it seems really silly but these little things can be great.
• Don’t discount the old fashion: This may seem odd seeing as how I said to use technology to it’s fullest earlier but every once and a while send the one you love a real, honest to goodness love lever. I know that when ever I’ve gotten one from my darling it has always been a wonderful treat.
• Little gifts can mean a lot: Of course you’re going to send Christmas and birthday gifts if you can’t manage to be together on those days but a random Tuesday is a good time to send a gift too. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive, just a little something that shows you care and are thinking of them.
• A good relationship has three parts: Romance, friendship, and sexual desire. Find ways to keep them in balance and neglect none of them.
• Get together as much as possible: This seems like a no brainer but I’ll list it anyway as it is important. Find a way to get together as much as humanly possible. I manage to get out to my love for a few days every couple of months and, while it’s never enough, it stops us from going mad.

These tips are far from everything needed to keep a relationship going but they’re some important ones.